Many have written me saying they want to go public with their stories of regretting abortion, but don’t know how to do so without their little ones finding out, and they really just can’t divulge it to their kids. This is truly a painful dilemma for the thousands of women who’ve contacted Silent No More over the years about wanting to attend their public press conferences around the U.S. but being unable to risk the publicity.
Joining Silent No More Awareness is a good idea even if you can't hold signs or go public. You might share your story with SNM’s founders (tell Georgette and Janet I said a big HI!), asking that if they use it in a newsletter or on their website, they use your words anonymously or with a pseudonym. Writing it down can give you some peace and relief from the strain of holding your regret inside.
A number of healing services are held, throughout the world and every year, that are designed to provide women (and men) beginning to face their abortion with a safe, private place to gather with others and experience God’s grace and mercy. Also, simple memorial services such as the ones held at the end of each Rachel’s Vineyard Retreat and elsewhere, provide women (and men) an opportunity to grieve for their aborted babies.
You can attend these events without your children knowing the purpose. When my son was still in diapers, he grew used to my attending multi-day business conferences. From the time he was three, I went on women’s regular (non-post-abortive) weekend retreats while he stayed with his dad. He only knew that Mom was going to a nearby “place to pray” with other women and would be back Sunday night. And besides, he and his dad had an “all-boys weekend!”
Some of the websites in our Post-Abortion Resources list have real people as chat/e-mail counselors who will converse with you privately online or on the phone. If you have no one to talk to, these great people have been where we are, and will listen to your story and keep it in total privacy.
Some post-abortive women become helpers or even pregnancy counselors at pro-life pregnancy help centers. Charlotte Lozier Institute gives great details about the care given (and requested by many states) by at least 2,700 (that were studied in 2019) life-affirming pregnancy help agencies in the US (and more outside the USA) and can help you locate one in your area. Also you can visit the websites of the biggest 3 organizations, CareNet (1,100 centers in US and Canada), Heartbeat International (3,000 centers including “affiliates on every inhabited continent”) and NIFLA (1,600+ centers). Even if you don't have time to help learn how to counsel women (they’d train you, if you did have time), they are always grateful for volunteers (for example, to run the kids' crafts/games area at fundraisers and walkathons). You will make a difference. Several women who work at these centers will in all likelihood also be post-abortive, and you will feel so accepted and loved, even if no one ever knows about your abortion or you don’t know about theirs, that it will help in your healing.
Knowing you are not alone is good, but talking or writing it out to someone who has “Been There, Done That” is also good. So call someone. It is possible to share your story in strictest confidence and begin healing.
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